Who am i, and, Who i am

Still...
in progress...
of accepting whats the fact, what is dream, and what is just beyond capability..

Genap setahun..
Menerima 20keping not 50..
setiap bulan...
Still...
its quite a bumpy ride after all..

A very hectic, everyday routine..
Which i hate, everytime, every second of it
Still...
Thats the fact..

And a longing for some self satisfaction..
Getting it just when i'm not in this world..
is indeed frustrating..
A dream that never came true..
Maybe I'm not born for this...
i don't know

Still living....
Still breathing....
But the heart has stopped its function..
i have lost the will to continue all this junk life..just holding a bit to a fragile strength..

i don't know anymore..

Just until when all of them are gone..
Maybe till then..
I'll know..
My true colour..
My destiny..
My own lil space..called 'home'